Diary of 18-1-99

18-1-99 Today,like the past few days I woke up at 6 AM and felt frustrated having nothing to do about revocation. I concluded that the Government is dead and petrified in my case, though it is alive and kickung for the people inside. I thought about Saran,Babu and saranathan and ways of making them act favourably. After thinking about alternatives,I hit upon the greatness of Babu. He is like Himalayas. He has built up peaceful system power and is invincible. He is a man of POWER. He might have lived life in such a way to cultivate and build up to this level. And it is my destiny that I have no sympathy from him so far. At least now,he has some of it. Having come to this point,there is nothing for me to do,except to send provocatively beautiful representations, which may stimulate people to take steps. Connemara library contains few Tamil books. Compared to English collection,the Tamil one is very small. Except for ancient classics, the recent works are all about revolutionaries,like Kattabomman IV and Marudhu brothers. Otherwise,about the recent politicians. Moreover,I find that reading being a solitary pursuit,I am isolating myself more and more and becoming lonelier. I have to change the trend. I may not be very skillful socially,afterall. Just when I am finding out people's power, I already see all young boys carrying ten friends around,who will disturb anything for solidarity. I am too late. My recent philosophy is of distancing from thinking and reading,but pursuing 'Just Do It'. One action leads to another action,but one thought leads only to another thought. This Action Philosophy seems to have helped in other personal works like renting,tax payment etc. Again the Action Plan continues. But do not think of revocation to be a fast progressing field. 21-1-99 Very Important.Take the first step and keep taking one step at a time. Don't keep the end in mind,it makes you nervous. In failure retrace from the first steps and take new routes.